Sunday, April 25, 2010

How is it today?

1 week since this accident......lots of anger and sadness and anxiety and tears....almost don't know who to feel bad for, I guess everyone who was involved, yeah, I do feel for everyone who was affected. There are many times during the day where I cry uncontrollably and then I feel some relief. I vent in different ways, I need to talk about things to release them, I need to cry to feel better.

All I know as of right now is that I wish it never happened. I wish I knew ahead of time as to not have become part of it! I hate really bad situations....I know I'm not a perfect person, I know this world is full of crap and everyone has their share, but I don't deserve this. I don't deserve nightmares...nor my daughter or her friend! Of course there is always the why....

I am working through things and so are the girls but it is flippin' me out! One day, one day I will look back at all this and there won't be a tear....I hope and wish anyway. But is that even possible? Any tragedy is etched in your mind for a long time, but is it for ever? 

I have had nightmares and woken up crying from all the visuals....ahh! How I wish they would go away!! I miss the nights of waking up to my own snore. I hope one day, things will be normal and I can not cry over this anymore......and truthfully you know what?....It will, because I know who I am, and I know I am strong, and I know I will overcome this tragedy! I know, no matter how hard it seems, that I will be ok! Nothing in this world is stronger that what and who I have in me! I will be ok..and so will my girls!

I have so much to be happy for! My awesome family, my beautiful kids, my gorgeous and supportive husband  of almost 23 years! I will be matter what else comes into my life or steps into my path, I am strong enough and know who to call and depend on! 

Words I must live by...because there is nothing else more real to me...these words have seen me through so many other things in life that has just blown me away and I must share them.

"So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while."

This is from 1 Peter 1:6

Why the bible?  Because God has never broken a promise to me, ever! So I trust Him. Even when it's something I don't wanna hear, he won't sugarcoat anything! Gotta love that!

So, I'll just trust.....Him!

One day, there will be no more suffering, no more pain, no more tears.....I have to know that there is someplace better!

*Thank you to everyone who has been there, sending me messages, chatting with me, offering their friendship, crying with me! Wow! you guys are truly an amazing group of people! Thanks for letting me know, you love me and care about me!!

xoxo Jules:)

Thursday, April 22, 2010

I thought you should know.

Today, almost midnight, Wednesday, April 21st 2010......

I have had one of the hardest 3 days of my life. Never in my life did I think I would be a victim. There are things in this world that you don't wish upon anyone, even an enemy, and this whole ordeal is one of those things!

I posted a 30 second something video at my You Tube channel of an annotation of my being absent for a while. I think I said a week or 2, but in all honesty, I really don't know. I can't start talking without holding back tears or just fall out's even hard typing just this much out. But, for me, it has always been easier to journal and cry, journal and cry and journal and cry some more. I know it may sound , I don't know...something along the lines of extremely emotional...I've always been sort of that way anyways, so really, I can't help it.

While mentioning a "tragic accident" on the video, I should have maybe been a little more specific. Although because of this ordeal being under investigation still, I need to limit what I say, since the case is not closed yet. So here I am , gonna try and explain a please bare with me.

Early afternoon on Sunday April 18th, there was a "car accident"...and there was a death. My daughter and her friend and myself were in my car and we WERE NOT hurt, thank God! We are just very shook up about it and I think I am having the hardest time of the 3, although my daughters friend is having some anxiety but is ok and getting medical attention. My daughter says she's ok and really does seem to be, although I was expecting things to hit when she wasn't expecting it, and she did, in class...just started crying. I wish the girls were not in the car AT ALL!

I wish that I could explain all that happened, but I have been instructed to not speak about it. Makes no sense that the media felt free to show and speak my not right!  I guess I should stop writing about this...but I wanted whoever reads this post to know that I and my family are ok, not hurt physically from this accident.

I am going to ask for anyone who believes in prayer or positive thoughts, please remember us.  And as soon as I am given the go to talk about it, I will repost an update. I hope to come back soon. I miss my YT scrappy sisters.

I rec'd a lot of packages in the mail these last 2 days and they have lifted my soul! I am trying to make my RAK vids without melting down....I have 1 more to go, and I will post them next week. Thanks for all the awesome things you all have given've made me smile!

Thank you so much everyone for all those comments and all the messages you've sent me. I really appreciate all the prayers and well wishes! Thank you! Thank you!

xoxo always, Jules

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

An Award!....for me?

OMG! I didn't know these existed!

What a sweet surprise. So, Arlene at
left me a message t go get my award at her blog! Awww, this really was a "huh"? moment! I couldn't believe it..haha

So, the following are rules to accepting this award:

1. Thank the person who nominated you
2. Copy the award and paste it on your blog
3. Link to the person who nominated you for the award
4. List 10 interesting things about yourself
5. Nominate 10 other Beautiful Bloggers

 *10 Interesting things about me!

1- I talk a, I do.. I talk and txt and message and email... alot. I could talk off your ears and eyes! haha!! But not sure if that's guys let me know... ;)

2- I was married right out of High School....I was 18! Got pregnant the same month and had my first child before I turned 19. Then, my daughter at 23...aaannnndone!! haha

3-My dad introduced me to my now husband!...yeah, my dad!

4-I will celebrate my 21st wedding Anny you guys...omg, we total 24 years all together since we were friends...we were buds before we dated:)  WoW! and I am soooo in Love more now than then!

5-I heard of scrapbooking in 1994-95, and saw some layouts a friend made with stickers and cut-outs. Thought nothing of it...really!

6- I scrapbooked a little 6x6 album back in 05' with plastic page sleeves using edging scissors, had 2 punches and some stickers and stamps,no stamp pads, no ribbon or lace. Put it this way, before YT in Dec 2009 I had a scrap booking shoebox, not a room!I had a craft room, but only for that, crafts.

7-I'm such a newbee scrap booker, that I don't have a favorite of anything yet, because I'm discovering new things all the time!  :)

8-I became a nurse but my heart has been Interior Design!

9- I'm a neat freak! I love organization and keeping a schedule.

10- I am in love and I think obsessed with YouTube!!! guys!

Nominate 10 other Beautiful Blogger's:

5-EllenRose aka "ER" 

Please go and see what these awesome ladies are doing over on their blog and /or their YouTube channel!

Have an awesome day!  xoxo Jules:)

Friday, April 9, 2010

Finally Home!!

I missed my scrap room so bad! I was away in Cali for over 2 weeks....ahhh! I couldn't create anything...oh wait I did glue some paper onto a scalloped tag chip mini from Mikes...but that was all. Oh well, ....

I had fun visiting with my sister but then when her uncle got sick she was gone for about 10 days out of my 2 weeks there to be with her family, which I didn't mind, I just missed her. :(

My son was on spring break and spent pretty much all his time with me. He did work, but not as much as he thought. I'm glad though, cuz I had him to myself and I loved every minute. He even kinda yelled at me for not telling him I went shopping. He said I should have told him so I wouldn't be by myself...?...what...wait...this sounds familiar! haha....I tell my mom that all the time...omg, am  I getting so old he thinks I shouldn't be by myself? oh geez!! I don't know how to feel about that :o  ....hmmm.

Well, my flight was a sort of a bust. I was scheduled to leave on Easter Sunday the 4th but I get to the airport that am and had a lot of bags and a carry on, but when I go to check in they said, " You can't fly today ma'am, the tickets are embargo"...I don't know what that she explains, that they block standby tickets during certain holidays because it's so busy. But they gave me the reservation and knew my tickets were why did they schedule me for that day???..I asked that myself! They don't I was released to fly out on the 6th...So I go all the way back home with all my stuff and wait until the 6th. I missed 2 planes out of L.A. then finally get home at 7pm, from 7am that morning! Needless to say, yeah!!!...LONG DAY!

I missed my honey and my bed and my craft space. Now I'm back and can't wait to get my stuff put away and start on my commitments on swaps and things. My "Cloud 9" mini is looking at me with eyes of neglect saying..."please dress me"! So all I could ...ignore it for now :( 

Welcome Home Jules!!! she's back in "The Jule Box"!